The Most Honored This Blog Will Ever Get

Sure they're my friends. Don't try to steal this from me.

Don't you dare try to steal this from me.

http://twistedtwinsproductions.blogspot.com/2012/10/american-thorpey-reviews-american-mary.html

Review: American Mary

The short review is that it's just really, really good.

It's a rare treat to be able to surround yourself with creative types that are just bursting with projects to make and stories to tell. Even rarer is the opportunity to see those projects and stories come to life and be able to bask in the wonderment of what they create. Last night, I was able to do just that with my dear friends Jen & Sylvia Soska, better known as the Twisted Twins.

I so totally don't blame you if you're jealous.

I took a day trip up to Toronto to see the Canadian premier of American Mary, which closed out the first night of the Toronto After Dark Film Fest (which is super rad, btdubs), and while I am, as of this writing, going on 33 hours without sleep, I wouldn't have changed a thing. Sure, I'm exhausted. Sure, I had to buy an overpriced plane ticket. Sure, I waited for an hour in the rain. But you know what? I'd do it again, just to be there to support my friends. In. A. Heartbeat.

The direction was "act like you don't like each other." Clearly that meant "act like you don't like Sylvia."

If you ever read this blog (which, granted, hasn't been updated in a while), you know that I never have anything but amazing things to say about the Soskas. But to be fair, it's only because there are only amazing things to say about them. They are so hard working and deserve all the honors that are bestowed on them, which, due to American Mary, are stacking up higher and higher.

Tristan Risk & the Twins, the darlings of Fantastic Fest.

As I absolutely hate spoilers, I'm going to just give a basic, in no way in depth blurb about the film's story: the film follows surgical student Mary Mason as, due to horrific circumstances, she grows disillusioned with med school, and finds herself in the lucrative, yet bizarre world of extreme body modification, and her subsequent transformation into a sinister reflection of the woman she was at the onset of the film.

A solid alternative title would have been Fun with Surgery!

Because this can easily devolve into a Soska love fest (Sosklove fest), I feel it prudent to talk about the cast first. Katie Isabelle (of Ginger Snaps fame) plays Dr. Mary perfectly. There isn't a single aspect of her performance that I can point out as why she's so amazing in the role. She's so natural as Mary, and it's both beautiful and horrifying. This is Miss Isabelle's watershed moment. I firmly believe that she will no longer be known as Ginger Snap's Katie Isabelle, but as American Mary's Katie Isabelle. She was brilliant and heartbreaking and terrifying, and I doubt that there's another actress out there that could have played the role better.

Mary, Mother of mod.

And while this was very obviously Miss Isabelle's movie, there is one person that constantly stole the spotlight away from her, and that would be Tristan Risk as Beatress Johnson, a role which is a total physical transformation, as Miss Johnson has become a real life Bettie Boop. Risk just nails it. In a film that can go to extremely dark places, Risk's Beatress is like a giant ray of sunshine. Even when she was just in the background, she had the audience howling. I can only hope this is a breakthrough performance for her, as the world could definitely use way more Little Miss Risk.

Risk, damn near unrecognizable as Beatress.

Antonio Cupo gives a solid performance as Billy Barker, a strip club owner who's also Mary's doorway to the body mod community. Paula Lindberg is fantastic (and basically unrecognizable) as Ruby Realgirl. David Lovgren & Clay St. Thomas play Mary's deplorable surgical teachers in solid costarring roles. Twan Holliday is hilarious as Lance, who becomes Dr. Mary's muscle. The Soskas' parents actually make cameos in the film, too. And then, of course, there are the Twins, themselves. Unlike in Dead Hooker in a Trunk, Jen & Sylvia took a step back from acting, playing a small, but extremely memorable role as German twins who are big names in the body mod community. To say that they wish to be close would be an understatement.

This is all I'm showing you of the Twins. Go see the film.

The film itself just looks beautiful, so visually different than Dead Hooker. The content of the two films couldn't really be more different either, showing the range that the Twisted Twins have as both writers and directors. While Dead Hooker was an amazing first feature, especially given the complete lack of budget, Mary is a whole other animal. It gives the audience a chance to see what the Soska Sisters can do when given a budget. What's more impressive is that the entire film was shot in fifteen days. Fifteen! That's unheard of, especially when you consider the quality of the film.

Just an aside, but suck a hard one, TIFF.

And now the numbers:

Film - 5 out of 5 Stars
Radness - 8 out of 5 Human Corsets
Tribal Scarings -  Get out of here

It seems like everything is coming up Milhouse for the Soskas and their American Mary crew. They were picked up by Universal Pictures for European distribution over the summer, which is mind blowing. Monster Pictures is releasing the film in Australia, too. But there was big news revealed last night, and that is that Anchor Bay has bought the Canadian distribution rights, which I'm so stoked about. Now we just have to wait and hope to hear about American distribution. But that's not all: after an already busy year of screening Mary at different festivals, Jen & Sylv are going to be staying on the road for a few weeks more, heading back to LA for Son of Monsterpalooza and then to Monsterfest in Australia, where they get to hang out with THE Elvira.

Yup.

I have the coolest friends.

Van City Love

Bienvenue, bitches.

So I've been on vacation in Vancouver since Thursday, and I leave this lovely city in a matter of hours. It's been such a rad time. I'm not even gone yet, but I'm hoping to get back out here much sooner than rather than later. Though I, sadly, didn't get to do as much as I had hoped, I am totally falling in love with this city. And, like most things recently, I have the Soska Sisters to blame for it.

There's a lot of Canadian bacon in this picture.

I came out because they were hosting a viewing of American Psycho at the Rio Theatre (a local arthouse joint...it's killer), which was part of the theatre's Horror Nights series. Besides the film itself, the twins had a trivia contest, a costume contest (which I won, hands down), & a viewing of a short that they did with The 25-Year Old.

Ssssiiiicccckkkk!

And, not to be forgotten, an extraordinary Patrick Bateman inspired bloody burlesque performance by the incredible Tristan Risk, who is also one of the stars of the Soskas' new film, American Mary.

Risk's the girl that there's one of.

Obviously, since that was only one night's events, I had plenty of time on my hands. I explored the city, and it was absolutely fantastic. Granted, I didn't see nearly half of what I wanted, but it was all awesome. It definitely warrants at least another trip back.

If, for absolutely nothing else, the delicious poutine.

This city has so much to offer. It's beautiful. The people are kind. Public transportation is easy to use & remarkably clean. Most noticeably, though, is the lack of "city funk" when you breathe through your nose. You know what I'm talking about: the stench most cities have (NY smells like freedom/Philly smells like pee). I didn't really notice that in Vancouver, and it was quite enjoyable.

Listen! Do you smell that? It's not pee!

Whether you're enjoying a stroll around Stanley Park or doing some shopping on Robson Street, there's something for everything. While here, I checked out a burlesque show at a little cabaret. It was rad. Plus, the post show dancing with Lola Frost & just about every other woman on the dance floor was a blast.

Ever swing dance with a flapper? If you haven't, you need to check your priorities.

Obviously, I had a blast. I'm sitting in the airport now, but I'm already thinking of when I can plan my next trip out. Who knows? With all the TV/film productions in the city, maybe I'll have to make a permanent change in residence.

There's a legit place called Shenanigans. Sadly, there wasn't really any goofy shit hanging on the walls.

I leave you with a few pictures from the trip...

Fierce

Sosklove

A delightful mountain view from Stanley Park

So this was a building...

The City by way of Stanley

They totally love me. I'm totally okay with that.

See?

This place is the jam.

It's a Fact: Jen & Sylvia Soska are Taking Over the World

Nerd girls FTW

If you know me, or regularly read my infrequently updated blog, you'll know that I'm a huge fan of the Twisted Twins, aka Jen & Sylvia Soska, both as writers/directors/everythings and as people (talk about two people who are absolutely amazing to their fans). You can read my first post about them/review of their feature length debut, Dead Hooker in a Trunk, here. Also, if it weren't for them, I never would have made this radgasmic little zombie short, so I kind of owe them, too.

Seriously, who isn't swooning over the Twinniepoos?

I could gush about them forever, but the three people who read it don't want that, so I'll just make my point: after a killer (pun!) showing at the Cannes Film Festival a few months back, their newest film, American Mary, made quite the splash. A couple of weeks back, the Twins tweeted a message about great news (and subsequent dancing around). The filthy teases. Well, we had to wait until today.

Sosklove

Dread Central and Daily Dead, among other media outlets, have broke the news that Universal Pictures International Entertainment has picked up the foreign distribution rights for American Mary. This is absolutely amazing news for the Canadian duo, as well as there fans. Now, I, for one, am fiercely waiting for the news of a US distributor for the film, which may or may not be one more of the many rad secrets that the Twins want to share with us, but contractually cannot. Yet. In the meantime, I highly, highly recommend that you watch the American Mary trailer, then rewatch it, then rewatch it like 17 more times (20 times would be far too much...for one sitting...maybe).

Using That Degree of Mine = Zombies

I graduated from William Paterson University 4 years ago with a degree in Communications, Specialization in Film. In that time, I'd done nothing with it. And that's my fault. Granted, I did some writing on unfinished scripts and ideas, but nothing that came to fruition.

Fast-Forward to a few months ago. I stumbled upon a little gem of a grindhouse film called "Dead Hooker in a Trunk," written/directed/starring/more-or-less everythinged by Jen & Sylvia Soska, a set of hot Canadian twins. I've written about that film before, so let me just reiterate my feelings on it: it's rad. So rad. But getting back on track, the internet has let me become friends with the Twisted Twins, and I'm thankful for that.

It's because of them that I got interested in filmmaking again. So, I banged out a script, rounded up some friends, and filmed (what I think is) a pretty freaking rad little short zombie film. I entered it into a competition in Vancouver. Sadly, I didn't make the finals (not that I was expecting it), but I don't care. I'm so proud of what we accomplished, especially for what little we had.

It's called "Your Time is Up" and is inspired by Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery." I truly hope you enjoy it. The fact that anybody's seeing it blows my mind & makes me ecstatic all at the same time.

Review: The Dark Knight Rises

"Batman Batmans the shit out of everything" - James Thorpey

*NOTE: Before I start with my usual "comedic" shtick/convulsing nerdgasm that go along with these reviews, there's something to be said about a tragic event that happened early this morning. A man in his mid-twenties went on a shooting spree in Aurora, Colorado during a packed midnight showing of the film. Reports are still coming in at the time of this writing, but there are a dozen people dead and fifty injured. To say that my thoughts are with the victims and their families is an understatement. This is a horrible act that words cannot describe, and it's most certainly the darkest of stains that will forever live on within the legacy of the Dark Knight Trilogy, if not the whole of Batman.*

Break. The. Bat.

The picture above is an artist's representation of Bane "breaking the Bat." Now, if you are knowledgeable about comics in any way, you already know that Bane was created for the sole purpose to snap Batman's spine, thus causing the Knightfall arc to occur. In every medium that this has been portrayed in, in however many retellings or reimaginings, Bane carries out his plan with extreme precision, and ends it with a vicious wrestling maneuver known as a "backbreaker." Christopher Nolan has recreated that quintessential moment of the Bat-mythos in excruciatingly brutal accuracy. Spoiler alert? Nope. You should know that Bane breaks the Bat to begin with. It's the one thing that everybody should know going into the film.

Because, I mean...damn.

Let's take a pause right quick to let me discuss the two flaws that I had with this film. Oh, BTDubs, I only had two issues with this film, both dealing with Bane. The first, and I know I'm not the only one who thinks this, s that the sound mixing for Bane was ridiculous. Every time the man spoke, it was so ridiculously loud compared to everybody else. But, you know what? Fine. I got over it quickly. The other issue I took with the film, and this isn't just because I'm a DC fanboy, was the complete absence of Venom (the mutated steroids on...steroids...didn't think that one through. Or did I?) in the film. So, I know I just said that when people think of Bane, they think of him breaking the Bat, but that's not the only thing they think. They also think of lucha libre masks (or mechanical pain-killer jockstraps you wear on the face, as it is in this film) and Venom. I mean, sure, Bane is a ginormous, musclebound beast of a tactician in general, but his whole thing is that he injects himself with Venom to (and forgive me for mixing companies) "Hulk-out" and bring even more pain. That being said, I know that the Nolan Bat films are as realistic as you can really get, and having a tube running to the back of your head that injects yourself with a ridiculous amount of glowing green rage juice isn't realistic. I get that. I knew it was an impossibility from the moment that Bane was announced. But I was shocked to see that Venom was cut completely out of the film. I was really hoping that Nolan was going to show Bane shooting up with some serious juice before fighting Batman. Oh well. Once again, just a little nitpicking that is easy to get over.

Rawr

There was a lot of moaning and groaning about Anne Hathaway being cast as Catwoman all those months ago. I admit it, I definitely said something along the lines of "Yeah, she'll look really great in skintight leather, but the chick from Bridewars? Really?" (Yeah, I went with the Bridewars reference. You don't get to do that often). But, you know what? I've had this motto since Batman Begins came out, and it goes a little something like this: "In Nolan, we trust." There has not been a Chris Nolan film that I've watched and felt disappointed by, so I figured that he knew what he was doing when he casted her. You know what happened? She blew me away. Anne Hathaway's portrayal of Catwoman was fantastic. She brought a strong, determined mindset to the character. I'd go so far as to say that she may have (almost) stolen the film. Almost. Most importantly, though, is that Hathaway did Catwoman proud. Unlike that abomination that DC tried to pull off a few years ago.

Seriously, what is this garbage? Everybody associated with this owes the estates of Bill Finger & Bob Kane the biggest of apologies.

But yeah, Anne Hathaway was a pretty puff-fect (yup) Selina Kyle. As always, Bale, Freeman, Oldman, & Caine were top notch, and Tom Hardy was stellar, as Tom Hardy always is. Seriously, have you seen Bronson? Go see Bronson. And, last, but certainly not least...

Tommy Solomon has come a long way.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt was the star of the film. No, seriously. Sure, the movie was about Bane & Batman fighting over Gotham (if you want to get really broad about things), but JGL's John Blake was the heart and soul of the film, and he totally brought his A-game. Now, make all the assumptions you want, but Blake is a wholly new character created for the film. Now, there is a shot (like Harley Quinn, who was created for B:TAS) that he'll be brought into the DCnU, but I doubt it very much. Though, I will say, for those of you who know the comic, and know it well, there are a few nods to the fans. In fact, if you know anything about the Bat-Fam surnames, Blake sounds a lot like somebody else's name... But I'll stop there.

Superfly Pimps

And now, the numbers:

Movie: 10 out of 10 Stars

Batmanliness: 10 out of 10 Hotlines to the Comissioner

Holy $#!+, Batmans!: 10 out of 10 Ka-Pows!

Long story short, Chris Nolan capped of his Dark Knight Trilogy perfectly. Is The Dark Knight Rises better than The Dark Knight? No, but it's close. Does it kind of tear you up inside that DC is rebooting the franchise already so that they can lead into a Justice League movie? In more ways than one. But you know what? This story is over. Nolan told the tale he wanted, and he told it so damn well. Only one thing to do about it, really...

Review: Prometheus

Clearly this is one of them feel-good movies.

Prometheus is the return to a universe that Ridley Scott created way back in 1979 with Alien (which is still the most terrifying film ever made. I defy you to find one scarier). The genesis of the film began years ago, with Scott & Aliens director James Cameron collaborating together to make a film that would probably have been described as a "pants-shittingly scary action-fest." Sadly, this never saw fruition as AVP: Alien vs Predator was green-lit instead, and what a colossal let down that was (at least they had Lance Henriksen playing Charles Bishop Weyland as a nod to the fans). Scott refined the original idea he had been working on and thus Prometheus was born.

If you're looking for a film full of rapey dick-aliens, sorry, brah.

So, it'd be easy to say that Prometheus is a prequel to Alien, then, right? Well... I mean, it is set in the same universe as the Alien series (but so is the Predator series, as well as Joss Whedon's Firefly and Angel, which also means Buffy is in the same universe, and so on & so forth). Also, it takes place between 2089-2093, which means that it also takes place before Alien. So it HAS to be a prequel. Yeah, but not really. It's complicated. Let's just say that the films are so closely related, and while watching one adds so much more substance to the other, they are more than able to stand on their own as separate film series (serieses? serisess? seri? I just don't know any more).

It should be known that this image is integral to both.

Long story short, Prometheus is the "God question." Not only does the Greek story of the Titan Prometheus lend it's name to the film, as well as the ship, but the story itself. Prometheus was the being that created and championed mankind, only to be punished for his transgressions. A lone figure standing against the gods. And THAT, gentle readers, is the closest I'm coming to a plot summary for the movie. It should also be stated that the ever amazing Michael Fassbender played the android David 8 with amazing grace, poise, and child-like wonder. [POSSIBLE MINOR SPOILER, BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE A SLIGHT MORON] Yes, the Alien franchise staple of androids full of milk-blood is included. [END SPOILER] I've even created a mathematical equation to explain David 8's personality:

Take Ash from Alien (minus the homicidal personality)

  PLUS

 ST:TNG's Data's wonderment

PLUS

Bishop from Aliens's Loyalty

 EQUALS

This handsome son of a bitch.

And now, the numbers:

Film: 4.5 out of 5 Stars
Suspensefulness: 4 out of 5 Butts on the Edges of Seats

Grandeur: 12 out of 5 Glowing Fassbender Smiles

I wish that my hair will one day be as immaculate as his.

NOTE: If you're looking for a pants-crappingly terrifying film on the same lines as Alien, you're SOL, this ain't it. If you want to see a breathtakingly beautiful & expansive science fiction tale that will keep you in suspense, this does happen to fit the bill. I suggest you see it in IMAX & (Flying Spaghetti Monster, forgive me) 3D. Yeah...I just advocated 3D.

Review: Dead Hooker In A Trunk. Also: Meet the Soska Sisters

One of the top 5 posters ever. Fact.

After having to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, I finally got Dead Hooker in a Trunk from Netflix. It had been sitting at the top of my DVD queue for weeks with that dreaded "Very Long Wait" notification next to it, which, needless to say, left me quite disheartened. Thusly, when it showed up in my mailbox, I was quite thrilled. Looking back at the last few sentences, it may be one of the most poorly constructed paragraphs I've ever written. And for that, I'm sorry. Let me kind of start this again.

Meet your new indie flick masters...mistresses...wait, that sounds pretty S&M-ish...

Dead Hooker in a Trunk was written, directed, & produced by the "Twisted Twins," Jen and Sylvia Soska, who also star in the film. Right there shows the dedication that these two women have for their vision, not to mention their craft as a whole. Saying that the film was made on a shoestring budget would be like saying Kristen Stewart has an expansive range of emotions. But the Soska Twins make it work. In fact, the lessons learned from Robert Rodriguez's book "Rebel Without a Crew" (a book that also shares space on my bookshelf) are quite evident. And boy, do these ladies make sure that they get every last bang for their buck.

I feel that trying to explain this picture will ruin the amazingness of this scene. Also: don't ask about the duct tape over Jen's eye. Nobody likes spoilers.

Let me vague up a summary for the three people who read this: The film deals with two sisters (and their respective friends) that find a hooker. Dead. In their trunk. I can only describe what happens after is a series of unfortunate events. Crap, that was a Daniel Handler (Lemony Snicket) book. I'll just toss out some buzz words to pique your interest (if, for some reason, it isn't already): dismemberment, disembowelment, cyclops, home dentistry, twinning, sociopaths, sheep-lover, muscle car, serial killer, chainsaw-wielding Asians.

Cowboy Pimps. Almost forgot Cowboy Pimps.

And now, the numbers:

Film - 4 out of 5 Stars

Awesomeness - 7 out of 5 Jon Hamms (face it: nobody's as awesome as Hamm)

Grindhouse-i-ness - 5 out of 5 Overexposed, Scratchy Reels

Clearly, I can't say enough about this movie.

I can't wait for this to come out.

American Mary is their next project, which was just shown at Cannes.Unlike the grindhouse/exploitation feel of Dead Hooker, Mary is going to be a horror flick. Made by Canadian Twins. Who grew up reading the work of Stephen King. The Soska Sisters might be the best people ever. It's going to be awesome.

Now, I went to school for film, but haven't produced (well, finished) anything since college, which is a shame, because this film made me remember how much I love it.  So there's a good chance that I'm going to be going back to working like a mad man on my shockingly historically accurate Nazi Western script. And for that, I want to say thank you to Sylvia & Jen.

Also, if anybody who reads this (so nobody) knows of any comic artists that are looking for an awesome project to work on, have them get in contact with me.

Anywho, go see it, be it Netflix or through IFC Midnight or better yet: buy it on Amazon. I just did last night. Like 20 minutes after I finished watching the movie. For realsies. Should be getting here Wednesday. While you wait for the DVD to get to you, follow the Soska's exploits on their website, their Blog, or follow them on Twitter @twisted_twins.

Review: The Avengers

High Fashion

Oh...wait, that's not right...

That's better.

All I can say about Joss Whedon's The Avengers is "Wow." I think that it's the perfect climax to what the five Avenger-verse films (Iron Man, Iron Man 2, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, & Captain America: The First Avenger) had been building towards. I don't want to give away any spoilers, so I'll keep this short and sweet.

When is RDJ not a (loveable) doucher?

The Avengers is the giant "Screw you! Do you see what happens when you let me do my thing, Hollywood?" from Joss Whedon that has been festering for years. Aside from his Oscar nomination for being one of the writers of Toy Story (he was the one who made you actually care about the toys), his track record in Hollywood has been spotty, at best. Most of the time, his scripts get butchered by needless rewrites or directors changing things during shooting (Buffy the Vampire Slayer & Alien: Resurrection come to mind), or his films are box office bombs, regardless of how good they are (Serenity & Titan: A.E.).

Don't remember this? Yeah, most don't.

If there's one thing that Whedon knows, it's how to become the darling of Nerdom. If there is a close second, it's how to properly make an ensemble piece. The Avengers is just more proof of that. He takes great pains to be true to each character, without weakening them to make the others shine. Though...

Oh look, Tony Stark's being a dick to the potential timebomb. Shock.

With limited screen time, Whedon has finally given the Hulk his due. You finally see the fallout of what Banner really has to deal with: not the wanton damage he causes while fighting off enemies, but the collateral damage and unrestrained terror that he causes to his allies. Unlike the previous two films based on the character, Whedon uses The Avengers as a way to not tell, but actually show Banner's greatest fear. and IT. IS. AWESOME. 

Avengers: Assemble...biatch.

Listen, I could gush about this movie all day I could go over why it's the single greatest film of all time (biggest opening weekend, biggest 2nd weekend, beloved by critics & audiences alike, audiences full of multi-time viewers, doesn't really solely on IMAX & 3D as money-making gimmicks, damn funny, damn entertaining, 93% at Rotten Tomatoes, etc.), but I don't want to get into any specifics. So, let's get to numbers:

Movie - 5 out of 5 Stars

Awesomeness - 5 out of 5 Undies Peed in Due to Glee

Hulk Smashes - ALL OF THE HULK SMASHES!!!!

Heehee...this makes me giggle.

Listen, if you are reading this article, I'm sure you've already seen the movie. That's cool. Go see it again. If you haven't seen it yet, what the Hell? Do you live under a rock? GO SEE IT NOW! But, I digress. All I know is that everything seems to be coming up Milhouse for Joss Whedon in Hollywood this year: The Avengers is the biggest movie in the world, The Cabin in the Woods is a bona fide success, and his upcoming film, a black and white adaptation of Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing which he shot in 12 days...with a bunch of his friends...basically at his house, is one of the most hotly anticipated films to be shown at the Cannes Film Festival. The future's so bright, Whedon's got to wear shades. Which is a good idea, anyway...he's very pale.

Look at all the Whedon mainstays...

Fun Fact: Ashley Johnson is in Much Ado. She also played the waitress that Cap saves in the film's climax. More importantly, though, she played Chrissy Seaver on Growing Pains.