31 Movies of Halloween: Days 1-3

So, here is the account of the first three days of my Halloween film fest experiment. Hopefully, I'll be able to update more frequently than every three days, but I can't know that. But I digress...

Day 1 - Piranha

Let me say this first: if you haven’t seen Piranha, do not see Piranha. I’m not talking about Piranha 3-D, which looked awesome(ly bad), but the original one from 1978.

So, the piranhas in this movie are government funded experiments against the Vietnamese. The plan was to introduce them into the rivers throughout the country so that they eat everyone. I shit you not. At least, I’m fairly sure that was the plan. Unfortunately, the Vietnam war ended, but of course, some scientist kept the experiments going...or he was just taking care of them...or something.

Anyways, the piranha get out, and it’s up to a drunk and an insurance investigator to stop them. Hijinks and piranha attacks ensue. Without going into detail too much about the plot, I just want to say that the film contains the funniest (yes, funniest) fake animal attacks of all time. At least, the film was really a spoof on Jaws, so the campiness was intentional.

Best Part:

The very “Texan” resort owner Buck Gardner having the most ludicrous New York accent. The “actor” is from the Bronx, I get that, and this is a Corman-produced movie, but, come on, at least fake a horrible accent.

Also, decide what time of the year this takes place. Once again, it’s set in Texas, apparently in the summer, yet people go from wearing shorts and bathing suits to jeans, boots, flannel shirts, and jackets. Decide, Mr. Dante. Decide.

Day 2 - Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever

Wow...just wow. The original Cabin Fever was pretty awesome. I might even watch it later in the month. Gross, no doubt, but still pretty awesome.This one? Nope...just nope.

It’s about the contaminated water that is shown at the end of the original getting into the bottled water of a high school, right around prom. Rider Strong reprises his role in a brief cameo at the beginning, yet he’s one of the top billed, if not top billed, stars. And did I say brief? I mean, like, very, very, not even through the opening credits brief cameo. Anyway, kids start falling to pieces over the prom (PUNS!). Oh, and there’s this random death squad of water purifiers...or something. Who cares? Watch it if you really want to know. But don’t. It isn’t good.

Best Part:

There’s no “good” part of this movie. Except maybe when the screen finally goes to black. But if that isn’t a choice, then I’d have to go with the animated title sequences.Yes. Animated. Title. Sequences. Ugh.

Day 3 - REC

If REC may seem very familiar, even if you’ve never seen it, that’s because it was remade into Quarantine, starring Detective Deborah, sister of America’s favorite serial killer, Dexter Morgan. REC is the first decent film that I’ve watched so far. Be warned, the movie is in Spanish, and you will have to deal with subtitles. Suck it up.

So, the movie is a faux-documentary (I choose to forgo the “mockumentary” term, as this movie is far from a comedy) about a reporter following a group of firefighters. After a dismally slow night, they are finally called to n apartment where the shit hits the fan. Let me just say this: demonic infection. Yes, there is some demonic possession, but it’s mostly demonic infection. I will leave it at that.

Best Part:

The end. No, I don’t mean the credits. The final few minutes of the movie are freaky. Maybe not actually frightening, but most definitely freaky. You should definitely check it out.