Thursday, October 6, 2011

31 Movies of Halloween 2011: Days 1-6

Since I'm a glutton for punishment, I figured that I'd attempt to do another 31 Movies of Halloween. Yup, once again: I'm watching one movie a day for each day of this fine month. Sadly, I've been really busy the past week, so this is the first time I'm getting a chance to write about the first six movies. And without further ado...


Day 1 - Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
It really is quite good.


Yes, I know that I already blogged about it. And, yes, technically I watched it in September. But it was the last day of September. And I'm just one man. With a life. Kind of. Shut up. Either way, this movie is about some nasty tooth fairies who get supah-creepay on a family. It's off-putting. And jawsome. Just like Street Sharks.
The 90's: It was a different time.


Best Part:
The Mr. Harris attack. Man...those tooth fairies are vicious.




Day 2 - Undead
That gun seems impractical...

Undead is a 2003 horror/comedy from Australia. So you know it's wacky. The movie is actually a two-fer. Sure, there're zombies (mostly), but there're aliens, too! Anyway, a zombie outbreak (from space!) breaks out in Oz, and it's up to a pageant queen, a creepy loner, and the rest of their ragtag group of survivors to get to the bottom of it all. Or at least not get eaten. Or have their brains punched through their heads. Mostly not get eaten, though. It was pretty good. Not great, but pretty good. Pretty, pretty, pretty good.
Far more badass...yet still impractical. And unwieldy.

Best Part:
The aforementioned brain-through-head-punch. Was not expecting that one. And once again, it takes a non-Hollywood movie to surprise me.




Day 3: Bride of Re-Animator
He'll never learn.


Herbert West is back, doing those wacky experiments. This time, he's got a job in a hospital, which is a great place to find test subjects if you're a mad scientist. And, you guessed it: Herbert West is that mad scientist. Apparently he was working down in South America at some point between the films, so that comes back to bite him in the ass. Or something. Whatever. So, the big thing in this one isn't just the reanimation of a dead body, but the reanimation of individual body parts. Hey, I wonder if there's a way to create (recreate?) a person using scrap parts? "Challenge: Accepted," said Dr. West.
The "Holy Frankenstein!"-ness is just too graphic.

As always, things don't go to plan.


Best Part:
Dr. Carl Hill (well, his head) gets bat wings. Yup. A flying zombie head.
Pre-bat wings.



Day 4: Beyond Re-Animator
The man won't stop.

Okay, so Herbert West gets locked up (finally) because one of his experiments gets loose and kills the Hell out of some girl, right in front of her brother. The brother sees West getting cuffed & put in the police car, where he drops a vial of his reagent. Naturally, the boy picks it up & keeps it for 13 years. Because that's rational. He also became a doctor. And got a job at the prison that West is serving his time. Because that's rational.
But seeing a zombie do this & then eat your sister would cause poor life choices.

He & West team up, combining the reagent & a new process that West created that basically steals the soul out of a being, to (hopefully) make zombies that are just like their old selves, not just mindless, murderous creatures. Also: there's a sexy reporter, sexy nurse, drug addled prisoner, & a real sumbitch of a warden. Hijinks ensue.


Best Part:
West just jabs syringes full of reagent into people all willy-nilly.
Watch the birdie.



Day 5: The Midnight Meat Train
This was the Citizen Kane of 2008. That's not true.

Midnight Meat Train is an adaptation of a Clive Barker story, so it ends with monsters. Sorry if that spoils things, but, come on. If I have any a priori knowledge of Clive Barker's work, it's that it's always monsters. Anyway, it's the story of a photographer (pre-Hangover Bradley Cooper) who stumbles upon a man who murders people on a train. After midnight. It is (slightly) more complicated than that. Whatever. There's a ton a gore & a mildly interesting turn of events. All I know is that...
Some guys just can't handle meat trains.

Best Part:
Vinnie Jones. 'Nuff said.
Supah Creepay!



Day 6 - Near Dark
One of these movies is good. Hint: it's the one with legitimate vampires.

Near Dark is probably the most badass vampire movie ever, not mention an early showing of the brilliance of Kathryn Bigelow. It's scary, action-packed, and awesome. The film is a mixture of horror and western, but in a modern setting. I can't sing the film's praises enough, so go see it. Oh, and if you've heard about this one, but have never seen it, you're probably familiar with this...
Bill Paxton: Sex Symbol.

Best Part:
The vampires. The casting was brilliant, highlighted by the aforementioned Paxton & Lance Henriksen, two of James Cameron's regulars.
Aww. What a sweet family photo.

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