Monday, November 22, 2010

The Buffy Reboot...or Why Hollywood Kills Everything Good in this World

They did it. Hollywood has just slain all that is holy in the world of nerdom.
I'll miss you most of all, sure to be cut from the story Xander. And Angel. And EVERYBODY.

Oh, wait. All is not completely lost for us geeks. Hollywood doesn't have the balls to pillage the Guinness World Record holding Doctor Who.
Mainly because it'll take 3 movies to get people up to speed. Oh, and who would watch it? Besides me?

I feel as though I should cut straight to the point. Besides the press release that the until-recently-dead-in-the-water Buffy reboot is, unfortunately alive and well, with no input from Joss Whedon, Buffy's creator and God to all that is nerdy, to boot, we get this article. Who is Whit Anderson? What credentials does she have to handle such a beloved character? None. She's a fan? Great. Me too. Have all the DVDs. Bought them all the day they came out. Seen them all at least five times. Some far more than that ('Hush,' I'm looking at you). Doesn't mean I should get a shot at writing the script.
I'm guessing a role for Paul Reubens is out of the question.

But what's the big problem? Well, first off, they need to stop remaking things. Especially things that are still rather fresh in people's minds (I'm looking at you Spider-Man. And Hulk. And Punisher. And Death at a Funeral.) 
Yes, it was a (funnier) British comedy first. And the naked guy is yet another tie to the Whedonverse.

Secondly, Buffy isn't dead. Sure, it's been a fair number of years since the show ended, but it is alive and well in a legitimate, cannon comic series published by Dark Horse. Seriously, it's a legitimate season eight, in print form.
So many covers...

Sure. maybe it's just sour grapes about suits (possibly...probably...) ruining one of my favorite characters/mythos. But, it's what is said in the previous mentioned article that worries me. "While this is not your high-school Buffy, she’ll be just as witty, tough and sexy as we all remember her to be." The whole point of Buffy was to deal with the problems and pressures of high school, which is why, for the most part, the later seasons stunk up the joint. I'm not looking at you, Hush. Or The Body. Or Once More, With Feeling. Or the character Vi, which was my introduction to Felicia Day.
Thank you, Joss Whedon, for so many things. Aaaaaaand the lechery continues.

No, I'm looking at you, The Initiative. And robotic sex-Buff. And The Initiative.
Season 4 suuuuuuuuuucked.

My biggest fear is that the studio will interject itself into the project far too much, as it did with Whedon's original film. Which was delightfully campy, yet lacked the substance the show had. Also, the fact that Anderson is using Batman Begins as a example frightens me.
Think this: but with a cape & cowl...and the voice of a 50-year-old-carton-a-day smoker.

Batman Begins worked because it took the source material and put it on film as is. Buffy has already been done like that. For seven seasons. I mean, I'm going to go see it. And I hope, so very, very much that I'm mistaken. But, there's a huge chance that they will massacre it. Mainly by casting Buffy with this person:
No clue who this is. She's CW friendly, though...

Or, worse, her:
Stop throwing up deuces & stake that vampire!

Or, and I fear this the most:
This is a girl, right?

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