Good Work, Hollywood. You've Done It Again.

This would have been awesome.

Just a day after Tom Cruise was announced as the lead to Guillermo del Toro's big screen retelling of H.P. Lovecraft's At the Mountains of Madness, word has come down from above that said film has been cancelled. Now, I'm not sad for Mr. Cruise, who will be missing out on this payday. I've never been a fan, and he will bounce back from this without fail.

No comment for fear of retaliation from the Church

of Scientology, which most certainly is not a cult.

Universal Studios got cold feet about producing del Toro's passion project, that has been lingering in Developmental Hell for around five years. In an industry that squashes the chances of nearly any inkling of an original/outside-the-box idea (Inception being the exception that proves the rule), fear of the almighty dollar rules again.

Are you saying this wouldn't translate well to screen?

Apparently, the biggest issue was not the craziness of the source material. Lovecraft's work is notoriously difficult to bring to the big screen. But it has been done, and sometimes, like the 2005 silent adaptation of Call of Cthulhu, quite well. The biggest hurdle was del Toro's insistence that the film be rated "R." Universal got cold feet, and dropped the project.

Feminine Product Bags.

Here's the tricky situation: sure, you can understand in these difficult economic times that major studios would rather take the safe route and put out a crappy sequel to a crappy movie that (unfortunately) made them a ton of money than sink another ton of money into a film that flounders. Well, that's the rub. They'll never know just how well that movie could do if it doesn't get made. Hollywood has stopped challenging their audience. They continue to dish out the same mindless dribble that means nothing and keeps the viewer's mind stagnant.

Ladies & gentlemen of the jury, exhibit A.

There was a time when movies actually made people think. They made people question. They took risks. Were inventive. Challenged not only the audience, but the people who made it. When did that happen last? Once more, we're brought back to Inception. But it works with any Nolan film, really. Following, Memento, Insomnia, The Prestige. Heck, even The Dark Knight made us question if the Joker was the lesser of two evils, and at what point has invasion of privacy gone too far to keep the public safe?

Seriously: Money. In. The. Bank.

Major Hollywood studios scare too easily, which is why Nolan's one of the few mainstream directors that come to mind (and thrive) when you think of movies that are challenging and take a different approach at things. So, are there no other films doing things like that? No, there are tons of them. They comprise the "independent film" or, alternatively, the foreign film genres. Except, they are shunned by the big studios, and are forced to flounder, with the slightest hopes of a limited release, or worse, a DTV release with almost no distribution, at least in the US. I mean, can you find any legitimate indie releases in Best Buy, Wal-Mart, or Target? No. But you can find the umpteenth sequel to Air Bud. Why? Because the Mouse rules Hollywood. For foreign films, they might get critical acclaim, be released on DVD, and then get quickly remade into a bastardized version to suit the English-speaking American audience. Let Me In (Let the Right One In) & The Departed (Infernal Affairs) are the few times in which the remakes are actually "good," yet still come in under the original.

This brings nightmares. Hollywood, you can

finally release an actual horror film.

The kicker is that del Toro is the perfect man to bring At the Mountains of Madness to the mainstream. Not only is he daring and innovative, he is both critically lauded and commercially successful. Domestically, Mimic is really his only misstep. The Devil's Backbone, Blade II, Hellboy, Pan's Labyrinth, and Hellboy II: The Golden Army were all commercial hits, making back, in some cases, far more than their initial budget. And the Mimic misstep? It fell $5 million short of breaking even. But once again, that doesn't factor in what it made internationally. The Devil's Backbone was made for a "paltry" $4.5 million. It made just shy of $6.5 million...without any mainstream distribution. What was it rated? R. Blade II: made for $54 million. Grossed: $155 million. Rated R. Pan's Labyrinth: made for $19 million. Made: over $83 million. Once again, rated R. Hellboy II, del Toro's last outing as a director, made double its budget.

This crazy, foul mouthed man makes studios bank.

What was Universal so worried about? That the kids won't go out and see it? Guess what, dummies? THERE ARE NO KIDS THAT ARE GOING TO SEE THIS MOVIE ANYWAY! Lovecraft isn't exactly hip with the high school set. Sure, there will be some teens in the goth subgroup that will go see it. And if it's hyped up to be as scary as it probably would have been, then guess what? The teens will flock to it anyway, R rating be damned. Do you know who is actually affected by the rating system? Children. Not teens. Theaters want to make money too, so if a teen who looks like they could possibly be 17 or older, even if you have to squint to see the resemblance, they are going to get in. Plus, it isn't unheard of for kids to see movies, even ones that are inappropriate for them, with their parents. Or even by themselves.

Guillermo would totally make this work. And

people would pay to see it.

Do you know how many 5th & 6th graders have told me that The Hangover is their favorite movie? Even if the answer was only one (which it isn't), that is too many! But guess what? It's in the dozens. How do these kids watch these movies? I think that the content of The Hangover (which I too love) is far more disturbing and potentially damaging than anything del Toro would bring to the table with At the Mountains of Madness. Once more, Hollywood has screwed the pooch and left eager fans flapping in the breeze, more cold hearted, dejected, and disillusioned than ever before. I can only hope the rumors are true, and that del Toro is shopping around the film to other studios.

Stare into the gaping maw of terror...

And imagine what could have been.