So, the WWE is Finally Creating it's Own Network...

Aww dip...

It comes as no shock to anybody who reads this that I am a fan of sports entertainment, and with the recent announcement that the WWE Network is forth coming, I had a brilliant idea. Now, obviously, most of the programming on WWETV will be from the massive tape library that WWE has accrued, the WWE Films, as well as replays of their multiple weekly shows (Raw, Smackdown, NXT, Superstars). At least, that’s what I imagine they will do. But there is a well of untapped potential here, folks.

Here, too.

Now, I work Saturday mornings, so I haven’t been able to keep abreast of what the Saturday morning cartoon situation is. What I do know is that, last time I checked, it was weak. My idea is for the WWE to capitalize on this. Air the old “Rock ‘n’ Wrestling” cartoons. They should put together clip shows of the classic Mr. Fuji (and other superstars’) vignettes from yesteryear.

Do you know how difficult it is to find a Fuji Vice picture?

More importantly, though, is that they should start making cartoons utilizing their current talent. “But what would you suggest?” I’m so glad you asked…

1. WHERE IN TIME IS THE ROCK & SOCK CONNECTION?

They were made for this...

The Rock & his pal, “crazy” Dr. Foley, travel through time, interacting with historical figures in their travels. R&S can be the mentors of a group of students, and their travels are brought on by one of the children asking about the past, in which case Dr. Foley brings the group into the past in his homemade time machine. Episodes could be bookended by live action vignettes of The Rock & Mick Foley, ala The Super Mario Bros. Supershow. *THERE IS ALMOST NOTHING MORE IN THIS WORLD THAT I WANT THAN THIS.*

2. LUCHA LIBRE DETECTIVES

Estamos en el caso.

Mysterio & Sin Cara, with their (talking) pet Chihuahua, Tito, form a detective agency, constantly foiling the schemes that overarching antagonists Alberto Del Rio & Ricardo Rodriguez come up with. I’m thinking this show can be like a hybrid of Scooby-Doo & Dora the Explorer. It should play up the campy, zany fun, yet still be moderately educational by helping children learn Spanish.

3. THE BIG ADVENTURES OF THE LIL’ SHOW

Sure, he's supposed to be a kid, but you'll have to keep the goatee.

Before he was Big, the Lil’ Show had to deal with bullies, book reports, and other elementary school nightmares. This cartoon could have a revolving cast of supporting characters, with the Lil’ Show’s major antagonists being the school bully (Jackie Swagger), his teacher (Mr. Laurenitis), & Principal McMahon. This would be in the same realm as Recess, Doug, Rocket Power, and even Rugrats.

4. WWE HIGH

He already wears the football jerseys...

All of the normal high school tropes are filled in this one. John Cena is the Universally Beloved Football Captain. Kane is the Goth kid. Daniel Bryan & AJ are the “nerds.” The Miz & Maryse can be the Prom King & Queen who (try to) rule the school. CM Punk is the Outcast. Look out for mean old Vice Principal Helmsley! The potential is endless. If anybody gets future endeavored, they can be written out as having moved. I’m thinking this can be mildly absurdist, much like Clone High or even Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends.

5. WWE MYTHS & LEGENDS (alternatively WWE LEGENDS OF MYTH)

So. Many. Options.

In this cartoon, the WWE Legends contracts get put to use. In Myths & Legends, WWE Legends fill the roles of characters in different myths. Booker T would play the part of King Arthur. Dusty Rhodes would be Paecos Bill. Jerry Lawler could be King Midas. Tony Atlas as John Henry. Trish Stratus can be Joan of Arc. Kevin Nash would be an excellent Paul Bunyan. Bret Hart would be somebody Canadian (are there Canadian Myths?). That’s just for starters. With the amount of Legends under contract, the sky’s the limit. This cartoon could be played as educational, or action packed.

And that’s just to start with. As for other original programming, bring Zack Ryder’s Z! True Long Island Story to the moderately bigger-than-a-computer-(probably) screen. Give Santino his own Three’s Company-like sitcom, or, alternatively, a late night talk show. Mean Geene & the Fink can do a Larry King-esque show. A rotating crop of Superstars & Divas can host workouts that are compiled together & aired in the waking hours. Better yet, Beth Phoenix & Natalya can host (and alternate exercises) for a workout show called Pinup Strong Bootcamp. Hell, give Steve Austin his own hunting show. Or pair him up with Shawn Michaels for a buddy cop show. William Regal could host a Masterpiece Theater-type show. The Divas could do a View-like talk show, or even a fashion-based show. Cooking with Khali! Like that wouldn’t put butts in the seats.

WooWooWoo = Ratings!

There are so many great talents working for the WWE, as well as Legends, that there is no reason that ideas like the ones above don’t come to fruition. Understandably, with the road schedule being like it is, as well as many Superstars, Divas, & Legends working on other projects, it can be difficult. But that’s the beauty of the cartoon. The actual person doesn’t need to provide the character’s voice. There are many great voice actors out there, so it shouldn’t be too hard to find people who sound close. I hope somebody at WWE Corporate stumbles upon this, and more importantly, uses some of the ideas. Not that it’s at all likely. But, just in case, all original ideas are my intellectual properties. Please do not blatantly steal from me. I would gladly work for the WWE. It’d fulfill a childhood dream of mine. You know, just saying.

If I have to...