Don't Be Afraid of the Dark: The Review

See it.

I finally saw Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. It was very good, but that's what I've come to expect from things that Guillermo del Toro is involved with.

This creepshow right here.

Don't (I'm calling it Don't now. You aren't writing it. Shut up.) is a really freaky take on the goblin/fairy myth. These aren't the fairies that have wings, look like little Aryan princesses, & give you extra lives.

Though, she seems ginger here...

No way, these things are vicious, mischievous little bastards that crave sacrifice. They hunger for the taste of bones; for children's teeth. HOLY SHIT THEY ARE TOOTH FAIRIES! TEETH FAIRIES?

And really pissed off mole rats.

It's actually a remake of an old made-for-tv movie (yeah, I know, right?), but it is easily the creepiest movie that I've seen in a good long while. Part of that may be because it's centered around a young girl, and any child in a horror movie makes things scarier. I mean, have you seen The Shining? It's even scarier when the kids are British.

Just because she's American doesn't make it less creepy.

Anyways, you should totally see this movie. If you aren't a weinie who gets too scared over movies. Or, in case you are a weinie who gets too scared over movies, man up and see the movie. Or, if you're a tough guy who thinks he's too cool for scary movies, Katie Holmes is looking good in it. Or if you're a tough gal who likes the ladies, but doesn't like scary movies, Katie Holmes is looking good in it.

I was fishing for a reason to use this picture.

So, here's the review:


Movie: 4 out of 5 stars
Frightening-ness: 5 out of 5 stars
Creepiness: Supah-creepay

Look at this f'n Hipster.