The Real Meaning Behind Christmas Songs (Repost Throwback)

I just like the concept of Batman threatening a Mall-Santa...

Everybody loves Christmas Music. That isn't a true statement, but as this isn't so much hard-hitting, no nonsense journalism as it is soft-touching, all nonsense rantings, I really don't care so much about the facts. But, while listening to some Christmas classics (or "classics" depending on the song), I thought to myself, "Hey, there are some messed up things going on, if you think about it." And, oh yes, I thought about it, mainly so you don't have to...

1) This is my only Nazi Clause reference & 2) I have no clue what he's saying.

1. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer – It’s okay to be different.

2. All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth – I’m poor.

3. (Everybody's Waitin' For) The Man With The Bag – Which leads to…

4. Another Rock And Roll Christmas – Coke and Hooker party!

5. All I Want for Christmas is You – I’m kind of a whore.

6. Last Christmas – You bitch.

7. Christmas In Hollis – Black people have a great time on Christmas, even if it is in the Projects.

8. Merry F*cking Christmas – Intolerance is the reason for the season.

9. Back Door Santa – This one’s self-explanatory.

10. What Are You Doing New Year's Eve? – Wanna get down? Yeah, I’m talking to you. Hey. What’s up?

11. I Farted on Santa Clause – But I couldn’t help it. I’ve got IBS.

12. Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer – Actually it was a pick-up truck.

13. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause – Because your dad can’t satisfy her anymore.

14. Christmas Is The Time To Say 'I Love You – Sure you’re ugly, but I’m wasted on eggnog and lonely.

15. Baby, It’s Cold Outside – This blizzard is perfect…because I’m probably gonna rape you.