The Greatest Fake Bands of All Time: Part 1

There are lots of movies and TV shows about fake musical groups/singers/bands. Some are abysmal.

Jaberjaw would definitely eat the rest of The Neptunes.

Others are great.

Yes Virginia, there is a band called Buckaroo Banzai & the Hong Kong Cavaliers.

And sometimes they leave a lasting impression and ingrain themselves into the popular lexicon.

So thug.

These are some of those bands.


22. Chemical Toilet - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Sorry Frank, there is no dubious double meaning for "The Pecan Sandies."

In the episode "Sweet Dee is Dating a Retarded Person," the Gang ties to start up several iterations of Chemical Toilet. As all of these characters have strong personalities, they cannot stage personas that mesh well. The initial lineup is Dennis on vocals, Mac on guitar, and Frank on drums. Dennis looks like a relic from the 70's & 80's glam scene, Mac is a Johnny Rotten rip-off, and Frank dresses like a Beatle (complete with mop top wig).

Check out that group of non-threatening men.

Mac & Frank kick Dennis out, and bring Charlie into the fold, as they find that he is a Rain Man-like idiot savant when it comes to music. Also, he wants to be Bob Dylan.

Imagine if Bob Dylan and The Band looked like that? Ugh.

Mac & Frank again kick out the frontman and eventually get booed off of the stage, as neither of them know how to play an instrument.


21. Drive Shaft - Lost

Ladies & Gentlemen: Oasis!

Drive Shaft was the one-hit wonder band that Charlie Pace was a member of in Lost. Their song "You All Everybody" was a smash hit, but the success of it, paired with infighting and the inability to produce at the same level, caused their eventual split.

Also, heroin.

With all of the various media tie-ins to Lost, I still can't believed they never actually released the song as a single.


20. Noddy Comet

Noddy Comet in his later years. Oh so British.

Noddy Comet was the glam rock alter ego of Gordon Gordon Wyatt (played by the always amazing Stephen Fry) on Bones. While we never actually see or hear his band perform, we do find out a little about the pre-psychologist Wyatt, and Seeley Booth was a big fan of his back in the day. Why is he on this list? HIS NAME IS NODDY COMET! SO ACE!


19. Cylon & Garfunkel

Wordplay!

A Cylon is a robot bent on the extinction of humanity in Battlestar Galactica. Art Garfunkel used to be a famous musician, who was completely eclipsed by his partner, Paul Simon.

It's all just hits!

This duo hails from the genius/demented minds of the writers of Futurama. All I have to say is that this pairing is comic gold.

Why are there more of these fake covers!?

All I know is that I'd listen to them.

I think this is a real picture of Art Garfunkel and a Cylon. What the Hell?

18. Autobahn - The Big Lebowski

I want this concert poster.

I love The Big Lebowski, so it was just a matter of time before this one showed up. Long story short, years after german electronic band Autobahn failed to hit the big time, these nihilists stage a fake kidnapping hoping to make a big payday.

Ve bell-if nut-zing, Lebowski! Giff us zee monies!

17. Otis Day & the Knights

The face that launched a thousand toga parties...

Otis Day & the Knights were created as a fictional band in the classic college comedy Animal House. You will remember them for singing the riotous version of "Shout" during the epic toga party sequence.

A little bit louder now.

In an amazingly meta way, the film's popularity propelled the fake band into real (moderate) stardom. That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Otis Day & the Knights went legit. As far as I know, they still play together.

Now, wai-ai-ai-ai-ai-ai-t a minute...

16. Electric Dream Machine - It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Ah-Ah-Ah!

Electric Dream Machine was birthed from the same episode as Chemical Toilet. In fact, it is comprised of CT's cast-offs: Dennis and Charlie. Though completely backwards, this pairing actually had something going for it, musically. As he is completely self-absorbed, Dennis makes a perfect frontman, while, as previously stated, Charlie actually knows how to play music.

The face of genius.

Their song "Dayman" has become a breakout hit on the internet, as well as pop culture, and was even called back in the musical episode (or, more aptly, the episode where they perform a musical). As awesome as the song is, Electric Dream Machine still gets booed off the stage during their one and only performance.

I even have the t-shirt...

To Be Continued.

31 Movies of Halloween: The Recap

The following is the list of my first attempt at a documented 31 Movies of Halloween* :

1. Piranha :(
2. Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever :(
3. REC :)
4. 2000 Maniacs :(
5. Dead Snow :)
6. Them! :)
7. Smash Cut :(
8. Zombie (Zombi 2) :D
9. Survival of the Dead :)
10. The Blob (1958) :)
11. Little Shop of Horrors (Corman version) :)
12. The Crazies (1973) :)
13. Zombieland :D
14. Monkey Shines :)
15. House :)
16. Fido :)
17. The Host :)
18. Suspiria :)
19. Cemetery Man :)
20. Zombies of Mass Destruction :(
21. The Dead Next Door :(
22. The Devil's Backbone :D
13. The Return of the Living Dead :)
24. Bubba Ho-Tep :D
25. The Beast with a Million Eyes :(
26. Saw VI :(
27. I Drink Your Blood :)
28. Troll 2 :)
29. Seventh Seal :)
30. Jurassic Park :D
31. Alien :D


KEY:
:D - Loved it
:) - Liked it
:( - Hated it


Not gonna lie, it was a lot tougher than it seems. As somebody who works seven days a week, and tries to have something that resembles a social life, this was no easy task. I can't be sure if I will be doing this again next year, but I know one thing if I do: no zombies. This year was far too zombie heavy.


Final Thoughts:
Besides the gruelingness of the concept, this was a blast. I got to see some really great movies that I doubt I would have seen otherwise. I also was able to rewatch a few of my favorites, but in a different way than I normally do. Unfortunately, as there is always a negative to every positive, I saw far to many movies that were complete, unadulterated crap. But what are you going to do? Maybe next year I'll do more mainstream, obvious movies. Who knows? But, seriously, I watched too many zombie/zombie-like movies then I've ever wanted to. That'll have to change.


* - I gave a test run of this concept last year. I failed. Well, kind of. Yes, during the month of October of '09, I did watch 31 horror/Halloween/creature movies. But I cheated and watched a bunch in mini-marathons. It felt like cheating.

31 Movies of Halloween: Day 31

Day 31 - Alien


This is it, ladies and gents. The final film of my 31 Movies of Halloween. And it is a doozy.

That was a spicy meat-a-ball.

Alien is the single greatest horror movie of all time. It terrified me the first time I saw it. It terrified me the twenty-first time I saw it. Seriously. I'm scared by this movie every time I watch it, and I know everything that is going to happen, and when it will happen. 

Nightmare's have nightmares of this.

I don't just mean that I'm scared when I watch this at night with the lights off, which is absolutely terrifying. This movie scares me when I watch it on a sunny day, at noon, with the lights on. That scary.

Never gonna stop showing this visual.

The genius of the movie is that the alien (or xenomoph) is rarely seen. And when it is, the scenes are quick and vicious. You never know when (or if) you'll see it, and the claustrophobia of the ship makes the viewer feel what the characters feel. This is the film that made Ridley Scott Ridley Scott.

H.R. Geiger is a haunted man...

I'm not going to go over the movie's plot. You should have seen this movie already. If you haven't, I don't want to ruin it, because you have to see this movie. It is amazing. This could easily be my favorite movie, but I have to take points off because it frightens me too much to have it be my favorite. Wrap your minds around that.

And Sigourney Weaver looked damn fine in it. Lecherousssssssssssss.

Best Part:
If you couldn't tell by now, the best part of the film is the sheer terror and grossness of the chest bursting scene. Oh, if you haven't seen the movie yet, there's a chest bursting scene...so, spoiler alert. But anyway, the crew is just having a nice dinner, joking around, being a crew and all. When all of the sudden, John Hurt has chest pains. Then there is a form pressing up from under his shirt. There's screaming and OHMYGOD! Blood splatters everywhere, and an alien baby bursts through John Hurt's chest. This is John Hurt, people, not some random Red Shirt or extra. John. Hurt. What the Hell!? So freaking awesome.

And now you'll never want to eat cake again.

31 Movies of Halloween: Day 30

Day 30 - Jurassic Park

This isn't ominous or anything...

Jurassic Park is probably my favorite movie. Well, Jurassic Park and Ghostbusters. Well, Jurassic Park, Ghostbusters, and Serenity. I remember seeing this as a young boy in theaters, or, rather, I remember seeing up until right after the Dilophosaurus scene before leaving the theater in utter terror.

It wasn't until years later that I found out this scary bastard is a bucket of lies!

You know the story: Billionaire with nothing better to do has his scientists clone dinosaurs so that he can open up a theme park. Shit hits the fan, to nobody's surprise. It ends horribly for a good number of the characters. Here's a hint: if you hatch velociraptors, kill them before it's too late. They're inherently evil.

Also a bucket of lies. You really should look like a turkey.

The movie is awesome, and even though everything that can, does happen, it isn't all bad. Jeff Goldblum makes hilarious one-liners, Sam Neil frightens children for no reason, and they have sweet vehicles at the park.

If anybody can get their hands on a Jeep like this, I will gladly accept it as a gift.

It's pretty much the perfect amalgamation of Spielberg, Michael Chrichton, Dinosaurs, Goldblum, and Science.

Science!

Best Part:
The T-Rex. He/She/It is a beast. Literally and figuratively.

Rawr!

I mean, look at it. It. is. Glorious. There is only one way it could have been better.

This could make anything better. Anything.

Oh, silly me. I guess there is one other way that the T-Rex could be better...

It could have been T.Rex.

That would have been so ace.

Girl, I guess Malcolm's just a jeepster for your love...

31 Movies of Halloween: Day 29

Day 29 - The Seventh Seal


"And when the Lamb had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in Heaven about the space of half an hour" (Revelation 8:1). This is the quote of scripture that bookends the film. It sets the mood of the film right away.

Ah, Sweden, full of Crusaders, Death, and Aryans.

Flat out, this is the classiest movie I have watched for this experiment. It is also not a horror movie in any sense, though it deals with the character of Death, aka the Grim Reaper, so it counts as an appropriate film. Also, the Grim Reaper? Not terribly Grim in this one.

Welllllllll, kinda Grim.

Without going into too much detail, the film revolves around a knight freshly returned from the Crusades to his home country of Sweden. The Dark Ages being what it is, the country is filthy with the Black Death, and while the knight hoped to be rid of death since leaving the battle, he finds that it has actually beaten him home. Not only that, but Death, himself, greets the knight upon his return. They converse, as peers would, in which Death states that the knight isn't the first to beg for his life. The knight accepts death, but challenges Death to a wager: a game of chess for his life. If the knight wins, he lives; loses, and he belongs to Death. Death, interested in the wager, accepts.

It's not that he's out of your league, buddy. It's just that's he's been playing literally forever.

The game is played intermittently during the knights journey home. Will he be able to conquer Death? Will he be able to finally do something meaningful with his life? Or is it all for naught? Listen people: there is a reason that this is an internationally revered film. Watch it.


Best Part:
Like I said, this movie is amazing. There are so many parts that are phenomenal, so it is quite difficult to pick one. That being said, I must say that the best part of the film is how it has endured the test of time. It's consistently on lists of the most influential films of all time. It has be parodied and celebrated in numerous other films, as well as other mediums.

Also, Death knows Bill & Ted, so that's pretty cool.

And Now for Something Not Terribly Different...

Just read this at Complex.com. Pretty awesome read, that's not terribly different than what I'm doing. Except I started this first. Hmm...*


*Note: I'm not saying that Complex read my blog & stole my idea. Nobody reads this blog.

31 Movies of Halloween: Day 28

Day 28 - Troll 2


Oh. Yes.

Best scene ever.

Troll 2 is not the alleged sequel to the movie Troll. I say this because, yes, according to the movie studio, it's supposed to be a sequel, it has nothing to do with Troll. There aren't any trolls in Troll 2. Just goblins.

Not Trolls.

The goblins try to turn people into human-plant hybrids (as that is there favorite food). That is the point of the movie. Eating the goblin food also makes you bleed chlorophyl from the hairline, apparently. I am not making this up.

Nilbog is Goblin spelled backwards! Whomp whomp.

The main character's dead grandpa keeps appearing to him, warning him to get out of Nilbog and other such nuggets of wisdom. Also. he looks like a pederast.

Warn the goblins? F that. Warn Chris Hansen.

I'm not going to say that you shouldn't watch it. But, be warned: it is a particular brand of awful. And awful it is.

Best Part:

When tasked with finding a way to stop his family from eating the goblin food, the little kid chooses this:

It's exactly what it looks like.

He pees all over the food and table. Mission: Accomplished.